Beyond Rivalry

Marginal Revolution points to two tinsel-tinted selling opps:

(1) Crapwrap: Have your package wrapped as badly as you would do it.  The service costs $9 and more than 500 people have signed up for it. "We're not given any instructions. I'm just asked to make a hash of it using lots of brown tape and making sure there are rips and untidy folds." (This wouldn't work for us; my spouse wraps with more care than I do.)

(2) Auctioning off the best seat at the family get-together.  Daughter-in-law Alexis won the eBay auction with a bid of £13.50, outbidding 17 other family rivals for the prime seat in front of the TV, with a conveniently placed side table for drinks. Otherwise, there would just have been another Boxing Day row over this 'perfect seat.'

There's a lot going on here ...

I. love. it.  Travellers welcomed home at the airport by 20 total strangers carrying signs, banners, balloons, and flowers.

Woman killed by husband's coffin (11 Nov.)

God's Facebook Wall (12 Nov.)

Apparent 6th severed foot found in British Columbia (12 Nov)

Two Dead in Argument Over 'Bama-LSU Game (10 Nov.)

The Essential 007: A Recap of all 22 Bond Movies (13 Nov.)

Unregulated Credit Default Swaps Led to Weakness (31 Oct.)

Exxon Mobil: Biggest profit in history (30 Oct.)

The age when children begin attempting to appear racially colour-blind (27 Oct)

The Quest for the Perfect Morning Routine: The first in a series on lifehacking, at Slate (12 Nov): "The advice here is not my own, but I have clicked on it."

When Alzheimer's Hits at 40 in the WSJ (14 Nov.)

and

"I don't remember a whole lot about that period; I appear to have bought a couple of truly depressing sweaters, the kind you only wear when all you really want is to curl up under the bed for several years..." (The Likeness, p. 47, Tana French)

(Photo: Recent Drinking: Ironstone Cabernet Franc 2004)

I've watched most of season 5 via Hulu on my laptop. "Lucky Thirteen" (5x05) -- genius show. "Joy" -- again the realisation that House says what most people are really thinking but automatically censor because it's cruel and would cause conflict to say aloud (particularly, in this episode, about Cuddy becoming a mom; what he says is truly cringe-worthy -- and yet it's part of what was in my thoughts, too).

A few bits:

Wilson to House: "I'm leaving."
House: "What? Are you going to take another two months. Boy, you're really milking this bereavement thing, aren't you? [Pause] I mean good for you. Take all the time you need."

(Dying Changes Everything, 5x01)

House to Cuddy: "You have to stop Wilson from committing career malpractice."
Cuddy: "Talk to him."
House: "I already talked to him. Twice."
Cuddy: "Mocking him and insulting him --- let's see --- yes, technically those are categories of conversation.... Talk to him. Deal with his grief. Talk to him about what he's going through."
House: "That's a brilliant idea. I'll take him out for a beer. That'll make up for the fact that Amber's in a pine box and that there's randomness and chaos in the universe."

(Dying Changes Everything, 5x01)

Cuddy: Why do you think Wilson's leaving?
House: How many times do I have to use the word "idiot"?

(Dying Changes Everything, 5x01)

Cameron to Wilson: "You think you're making a rational choice. You think the worst is over. And then six months later you look back and you realize you didn't know what you were doing."
Wilson: "Are you saying the pain doesn't go away?"
Cameron: "It gets easier. Not in two months. Not in two years. But no. It never really goes away."
Wilson: Being here -- this building -- I was just in the lounge. I kept staring at Amber's locker."
Cameron: "I saw a guy wearing a scarf this morning. The color reminded me of his eyes. We lived 500 miles from here."
Wilson: "I have to do something."
Cameron: "Then do it. But don't think it's the right choice. Because there isn't one."

(Dying Changes Everything, 5x01)

Lucas (House's' PI, speaking about Wilson): "You want to find out he's pining. You want to find out if there is something about him that will tell you he's going to come back. Or something you can use to make him come back."
House: "Is there?"
Lucas: "No. No, there's nothing. Sorry."

(Not Cancer, 5x02)

Lucas (PI) to Cuddy as she walks away: "Hey, I like the shoes by the way."
Cuddy (tentatively): "Thank you."
House to Lucas, "You don't like her shoes, you like her legs."
Lucas: "It sounds less creepy if you say shoes."
House: "Less creepy, more gay."
Lucas: "That's my firm's motto."

(Adverse Events, 5x03)

Wilson: That's how we met: I was in jail.
Sheriff Costello: This guy was a total stranger to you and you bailed him out?
House: It was a boring convention. I had to have somebody to drink with.

[after Wilson breaks a stained glass window by throwing a bottle]
House: Still not boring.

(Birthmarks, 5x04)

House to Wilson [after pressing down the accelerator while Wilson's driving and being pulled over by a cop]: You "lost track of your speed"? I think that was Hitler's excuse. Lost track of the Jews. No one held him responsible.

(Birthmarks, 5x04)

House: [giving his father's eulogy] There's a lot of people here today. Including some from the Corps. And I noticed that every one of them, is either my father's rank, or higher. And that doesn't surprise me. Because if the test of a man is how he treats those he has power over... it was a test my father failed. This man you're eager to pay homage to, he was incapable of admitting any point of view but his own. He punished failure, he did not accept anything less than... He loved doing what he did, he saw his work as some kind of sacred calling, more important than any personal relationship. Maybe if he'd been a better father, I'd be a better son. But I am what I am because of him, for better or for worse.

(Birthmarks, 5x04)

Foreman to House: "There are ways of getting to know people without committing felonies."
House: "People interest me, conversations don't."
Foreman: "'Cause conversations go both ways."

(Lucky Thirteen, 5x05)

Wilson: House, you are a drug addict. You go to prostitutes. You can't be judgmental.
House: And yet...

(Lucky Thirteen, 5x05)

Cuddy: Why do you have to negate everything?
House: I don't know.

(Joy, 5x06)

House to Cuddy: There's a reason that we've evolved the feeling of awkwardness -- it tells us not to talk about things.

(The Itch, 5x07)

Cuddy: House, you OK? ... Your hand --

House: That's weird. I usually don't get the stigmata until Easter.

(The Itch, 5x07)

House: You want to change your life -- do something. Don't believe your own rationalisations.

(The Itch, 5x07)

(Image credit: Triny's World)

I like Magic Molly's 'For the faint of intuition'

"For someone who frequently and automatically monitors herself (am I hot? cold? tired? desirous of a cookie?), I'm still not so good at coming to a diagnosis."

Not sure of the diagnosis but I think the treatment is almost always, Have a light snack!

Yes, I know it's over. These are some of the links I found most funny (if sometimes rivalrous and cynical), most moving, most interesting. Followed by a modest compilation of lengthy and detailed lists of 'what Obama needs to do,' proposed by various folk!

Moving

Greene: If you can’t (or can) say anything nice... by Bob Greene at CNN (31 Oct. 2008)

From 52 to 48 With Love at Ze Frank (begun: 5 Nov. 2008)

images by Patrick Moberg

Funny

I watched Fox News for five hours last night by Andrew O'Hehir at Salon (5 Nov. 2008)

Blowing Off Steam at the Margaret and Helen blog (6 Nov 2008)

Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job in the Onion (5 Nov. 2008)

Obama Deletes Another Unread MoveOn.org E-Mail in the Onion (17 Sept. 2008)

Election-Related Signs: Why? by Scott Adams (4 Nov. 2008)

This.Fucking.Election.

Sarah Palin for Poet Laureate in Prospect magazine (Dec. 2008): "A great poet needs to leave open the door between the conscious and unconscious; Sarah Palin has removed her door from its hinges. A great poet does not self-censor; Sarah Palin seems authentically innocent of what she is saying."

Interesting and Useful

PolitiFact.com, applying factchecker and truth-o-meter to politicians' assertions

Political Speech by Nancy Hitt at Preaching Peace (5 Nov. 2008)

The Perils of Populist Chic by Mark Lilla in the WSJ (8 Nov.2008)

Change.gov - Office of the President-Elect (official website) - the 'agenda' section is pretty meaty

Obama's To-Do Lists

Obama's to-do list in the Boston Globe (6 Nov. 2008)

What Obama's Next Steps Should Be on Health Care, Transportation, Iraq and More at AlterNet (6 Nov. 2008)

A Towering Economic To-Do List for Obama in the NYT (5 Nov. 2008)

Economists' Advice for the President-Elect in the NYT (10 Nov. 2008)

Obama's global to-do list from John Hughes at the Christian Science Monitor (6 Nov. 2008)

Barack to the future: What can Obama do around the world at mirror.co.uk (6 Nov. 2008)

Top 10 foreign challenges for Obama at BBC News (5 Nov. 2008)

Obama's Top Three Foreign Policy Priorities at Foreign Policy in Focus (7 Nov. 2008)

Judith Kipper's Memo to the President at Huffington Post (6 Nov. 2008)

Environmental leaders offer their elevator pitches for Obama (Guardian, 7 Nov. 2008)

What the tech industry needs from President-elect Obama at CNET (5 Nov. 2008)

A Small Business Agenda for President Obama by Keith Girard at AllBusiness.com (6 Nov. 2008)

Let's consider three overlooked priorities for the new Obama administation by Judah Freed in the Portland (ME) Examiner (6 Nov. 2008)

Dave Pollard's view of Obama's Top 10 Tasks (5 Nov. 2008. Ten sounds small but wait until you see them ... 'Herculean' comes to mind)

Garrison Keillor has some advice, too: On this beautiful day, a few words for the happy couple (6 Nov. 2008)

requests for Advice for Obama at Freakonomics (see comments) (5 Nov. 2008)

what Obama should be reading from Inside Higher Ed (5 Nov. 2008)

Harvard economics professor Greg Mankiw has a memo to the POTUS-elect (8 Nov.2008)

advice from Alice Walker, at Ekklesia: Care for your soul, Barack (10 Nov. 2008)

advice from folk at Sojourners: Jim Wallis (7 Nov); Elizabeth Edwards (10 Nov); Richard Rohr (11 Nov)

leaders in sustainable food and agriculture weigh in at Grist (10 Nov. 2008)

(to be continued ...)

Otto the octopus wreaks havoc:

"A octopus has caused havoc in his aquarium by performing juggling tricks using his fellow occupants, smashing rocks against the glass and turning off the power by shortcircuiting a lamp....

"'We knew that he was bored as the aquarium is closed for winter, and at two feet, seven inches Otto had discovered he was big enough to swing onto the edge of his tank and shoot out a the 2000 Watt spot light above him with a carefully directed jet of water.' ...

"'Once we saw him juggling the hermit crabs in his tank, another time he threw stones against the glass damaging it. And from time to time he completely re-arranges his tank to make it suit his own taste better - much to the distress of his fellow tank inhabitants.'"

Why are these accounts always so interesting, funny? (And timeless: originally published May 2003)

"I am nervous. Spending half a week passing harsh judgment on your fellow Manhattanites just seems so… well, when put like that, it sounds just like every other day."

"The judge is Irish, fast-talking, and hilarious. 'Is there anyone among you who likes crime?' he asks. I consider the question. I do like some crimes: I love jaywalking; I love watching people turnstile-jump; I enjoy committing pre-crime. I say nothing. Neither does anyone else. Thus begins my suspicion of lies beneath the black and white world of the law."

"Potential juror#1: Then when I was 10, my parents moved to a suburb of Philadelphia.
"Judge: Did they take you with them?"

"I am in the jury box. I make snap judgments. I have no opinion about the defendant, but I'm ready to send the Zionist down the row from me to the electric chair; she's wasting our precious time blathering about her good deeds for Israel while we could be happily smoking."

"I want that jury power so bad I can taste it. If I don't get picked today, I may have to re-enter therapy. I feel I must get into the box today, but even as my conviction grows, I am torn. Sending someone to prison is like, really bad."

"I immediately become gal pals with the funny gay fellow behind me. I don’t ask his name or anything else -- I'll learn it all in voir dire, the speed-dating of jury duty!"

Creative Design, Beautiful People. Too funny.

"As a beautiful person, I pretty much live a consequence-free life. I believe that's why I'm such a fearless designer. I can create disturbing, controversial imagery, and in the end people just say, Wow, she's hot."

What inspires me? "Death. Sunflowers." "A really nice handgun."