19 July 2008
Choice and Happiness
Scott Adams (Dilbert creator) writes (almost a year ago):
"We know from workplace studies that the biggest factor in employee satisfaction is the degree of control workers have over their jobs, assuming other factors such as the pay and the hours are somewhere in the normal range. People like choice more than they like the thing they choose.
"When you make your own choices, you manipulate cognitive dissonance in your favor. No matter what you choose, it seems like a better option than it really is because you chose it."
I don't think any 'real' Buddhist would say this, but it seems to me that most of Buddhist practice, at the core, is meant to be a remedy for this seemingly universal human tendency to equate a sense of control with happiness.
Most of life is not controllable. We don't have a choice about many things. Being born and dying, for instance. :-) We often can't control our own thoughts and actions, much less those of other people, or circumstances. So this tendency to equate control with happiness leads to suffering, as we see again and again that we are not 'the deciders,' and even when we are the deciders, we decide wrong. Still, we try to be the deciders. It feels good to be in charge rather than to be told what to do or to have circumstances forced upon us.
Making choices and feeling in control is a key way of finding ground. Feeling we're in control gives us the illusion, first of all, that there's an "I," an identity that is constant and solid, and second, that we have power, that we can determine outcomes. And we do have power. We can affect some outcomes. There's also luck, timing, and other people's power, which thwart our sense of control, and even when we do exert control, there's our own ambivalence about alternatives (which diverts our power), our indecision, our poor judgment, our lack of wisdom, and the unravelling of unforeseen consequences, which remind us that even when we act with control and power we may not actually control outcomes.
I guess the question is, if I consciously and over-and-over choose to let go of needing to feel a sense of control in order to feel happy, am I still holding on to a sense of control in making that choice? And what then?
(photo: cat, staring up at bird's nest)
07:10 Posted in girardian anthropology, neuroscience, psychology, the mind, other people said it, politics, government and law | Permalink | Comments (3) | Email this | Tags: control, hapiness, power, outcomes, buddhism, scott adams
Comments
If you watch children, you get a sense of what happiness is. That is it, happiness is.
They do not strive to be happy, they do things and are happy in their play. If something happens to interrupt their plan (and current happiness), they change direction and go on.
If you want to learn about happiness, watch children. Don't be concerned about control. Remember, none of will get out of this alive, we might as well enjoy it while we can.
Life is as good as I allow it to be.
Posted by: Dave Owen | 19 July 2008
Thanks, Dave, and thanks for the link to your website. Do you think kids feel 'in control' of their games, their play, or not? I remember feeling I had control of play as a kid, though knowing I didn't have control of much else -- same as now! :-)
Posted by: M | 19 July 2008
It is human folly to equate control (the ability to choose an outcome) with happiness. As you say, most of life is not controllable. So the feeling of being in control is an illusion and cannot lead to true happiness because, as you point out, it can often lead to suffering when we make the wrong choices. But letting go of needing to feel a sense of control in order to feel happy is not the answer either. Suffering can happen whether we believe we are in control or not. So it is not the presence or absence of a feeling that we are in control that leads to happiness. Rather, it is surrendering control and allowing God’s Will to be done (Mark 14:36), even when it leads to suffering, that gives meaning to our lives. We view suffering differently then. Suffering is no longer a cause for despair, but a sacrifice that leads to our redemption. It is our faith in this ultimate redemption that leads to true happiness. But the anticipation of suffering, even when we believe it will lead to our salvation, causes doubt and sorrow. This is why we must pray for the strength to endure suffering and for the faith that we are doing God’s will.
Posted by: Mike Henry | 19 July 2008
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